Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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