lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
