Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
