I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
