About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
