Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
