Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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