he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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