so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
