$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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