Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
