I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
