this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need to calm my uterus...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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