allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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