i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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