You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
a search helicopter?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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