his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
