I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
