They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
