It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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