I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
time to smoke my breakfast
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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