dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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