Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
