GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
