I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My penis needs a shock collar
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
