i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
