Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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