I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
