the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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