my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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