I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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