Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
