If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
