If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
