what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
