The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize