there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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