How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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