Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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