she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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