Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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