Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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