It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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