We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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