Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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