So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
