There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
