is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Girls should come with a carfax report
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
