And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
