Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
