Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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