Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
