We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
