he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
