i think i have two assholes
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
