I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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