Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
