I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize